A Moment to Remember

The wind was cool and the blue water went on forever

You ran carefree, and full of life.

I held you, wrapped tight in your blanket

I sang you rock-a-bye and swayed in the sand.

You giggled

Your sweet face looked up at me.

Your eyes scrunched tight from your smile.

Sand on your cheeks, I kissed and kissed and kissed them.

Mama, sing more.

I leaned back to rock and began my song again.

Scrunching my eyes to hold back my tears.

Breathing in this moment with the salty air.

This perfect love went on forever. 

Happy Birthday To You

Dear Olive,

This is officially my first letter to you, although it will be years before you can actually read it, and even more years till you can really understand it. Today you are turning two. It's so unbelievably hard to imagine how much you have grown in the past couple years. Two years ago today I held you, a wet, black haired, tiny, blue toed, little newborn. You were so little. Your eyes would cross, your feet would curl into your body, and you did very little but eat and sleep.

Today we had a tea party with your stuffed animals. Today I heard you sing your ABC's. Today you sat on the potty watching youtube videos. (Is that still even around?) You run around the house saying things like " I made a mess!" and "sorry mama..." You hug me and kiss me, and hold my hand when your scared of scary things like vacuums and lawn mowers. You ran around the park today holding your daddy's hand. You went down the tunnel slide on his lap. You love him so much. You blew your candles out and later sang happy birthday to yourself. You jump, you run, you are amazing. You pretend the flowers on the carpet are "mud puddles" and jump on them. Today we ate ice cream. You told me chocolate is your favorite.

After everyone sang, you said "OK One, two, three!" and blew!

So how did you go from this tiny little baby into this big girl? I watched it happen before my very eyes. Its been the most incredible thing in my life. The love I have for you is unlike anything I can explain, and until you have your first child, I don't think you will truly understand what I mean.

Walking around at her FIRST party!

I am so proud of you, of who you are growing up to be. You've always been a happy girl. Happy and peaceful and kind. Your extremely independent, and love doing things by yourself. Your strong. Your confident, brave, silly, sensitive, and kind hearted. Oh, and smart. Your amazingly smart. You know your ABC's, can count to 10, know all your colors and most of your shapes. Really?! I have no idea how. Your just amazing.

Strawberry Picking

Your also the most beautiful person I have ever known. Besides all the inner beauty you have, you are just stunning. You have the bluest eyes. Your hair is golden and curly. Everything about you is just beautiful.

I know that whatever you end up being like when your older, no matter what you chose to do, I will always always love you more than imaginable. You changed my life, you bring me happiness and love everyday. I cant wait to watch you continue to grow! I hope that wherever life takes you, you will always know that your parents have always, and will always love you.

- Your Mama

She's Amazing!

I am SO lucky.

Potty training has been this scary thing in the back of my head. I have heard the horror stories, and they all freaked me out. I have no clue how or why this was so "easy" for her, but it was. She is trained. Of course, she still wears a diaper for naps and night time. She will for a while because shes still in her crib (NO RUSH THERE...) She tells me when she needs to go, and she goes. She tells the teacher at the Y childwatch, and goes. She poops and pees on it. Its amazing to me.

Nothing is perfect, we have had a few accidents over the past couple weeks, but nothing major. She goes in toilets in public too! Now, I don't think any of this has to do with me. I think she was just ready, and just wanted to do it. I know I'm lucky and everyone out there who struggled with potty training, Im sorry, please dont hate. I am just so proud of my little independent girl, who is also so proud of herself.

Were also handing out invitations to her 2nd birthday (gulp).... Im excited (because I love parties), but also kinda sad. Two years is kinda the time where they arent babies at all anymore.. She is a little amazing girl. I just love her to pieces. Stay tuned for awesome birthday pictures!

Potty what?

Day 1:

I am sitting here while she naps, blown away by what happened this morning. She hasn't worn a diaper all day, and has just gone to the potty... the potty!? How did this happen? How did my little poop squirting, pee blow in public, 10 diaper a day baby become... this? I guess we started a long time ago, reading books, letting her watch us, and pointing things out. She seemed "ready' at about 14 months but would cry when she pooped, so we stopped offering. Here we are, 23 months old, and she just gets it? so sudden....

I think now I am the one being trained. I am figuring out what the hell I "supposed" to do here... I get on the Internet, and I read all these blogs about the "best" way, the "wrong" way, and all the ways to truly mess up your child... Don't say this, don't push, don't be this blah blah blah. I felt so overwhelmed by it last night that I just said... "I'll just play it by ear and see what happens"... I think deep down I hoped that she wasn't really ready, and I could just strap back on this amazing diaper and not have to worry anymore...

BUT, she woke up this morning and didn't want to wear her diaper. She WANTS to go in the potty. She WANTS to wear underwear. gulp gulp gulp.... what?

So, this is where we are. The couch cushions have been removed and covered with blankets, the bathroom doors are wide open and well stocked with toilet paper. I have a back pack packed with everything this clueless mom might need if we actually LEAVE the house..... what? We cant walk around pant-less?....

I am feeling brave, scared, confused, and a little sad, but mostly excited to see this little birdie exert her first true independence. She really does amaze me. I feel like as a mom, I am most of the time totally clueless, but things seem to just work out. So, I'm here again... along for a wild ride ahead I am sure!

Spring has Sprung!

This girl is 22 months now! I just spent the last hour watching old movies of her "younger" days, and its just the most amazing thing watching her grow up. I feel like with every step along the way, I have discovered more of who she is, and feel closer and closer to her. Even though SO many things about her have changed over the past couple years, so much is still the same. She was just sort of born with her little personality, and she is still that same Olive. She always has been very observant, alert, and ready to learn. She's always been very independent, social, and happy. She loves to play, loves to sleep, and loves to eat! In general, shes a very "easy going" kid, but when she is tired or hungry, watch out! haha

Spring is here, and its so glorious. we are finally able to get out of the house, and go to the park and play! She is talking more and more everyday. I would say she says 8-10 new words everyday! It's crazy! Here are some examples of things I hear, pretty regularly: "mama? Dadda at work now?", "mama go potty now", "birds fly away!", "Daniel tiger says shadows are fun!" (Shadows are a hot topic right now) "shadows scary!", "Shadow puppets fun!", "I do it!", "go boomers play!", "im sorry dadda!", "more water please!, ICE ICE!", "I dont like it" plus so many more I cant even think.. Oh, dont forget "mine"... everything is hers

With this new expanded verbal ability comes so much more insight into what she is thinking and feeling. She can tell me shes tired or hungry or scared now. I love this. She's really just such a pleasure.

We got some pet fish, and shes so cute in taking responsibility to feed them. Its cute though when she wants to feed the fish she says "lets eat them!", but she means, "lets feed them"... at least, I think so....

She LOVES coloring. She prefers the color purple but also likes red. She wants to dress herself, but cant really do it yet. She goes pee pee on the potty and is so proud! She loves to eat pretty much anything, but has a new love... candy. (Thank you Easter bunny.... haha) Oh, and she LOVES the Easter bunny.

She is now 26 pounds, and wearing 2T and size 6 shoes. She is super social, and loves playing with her friends. She has a new favorite show, Sophia the First, which is a Dinsey show about a little girl learning to be a princess. She LOVES it. She can be very "girly" sometimes. She loves her hair bows, necklaces, shoes, and dresses! But, she doesnt mind getting wild and crazy with daddy either! She is such a daddys girl, and wants him to rock her to sleep most nights.

Her 2nd birthday is around the corner, which blows my mind. I love watching her grow. What an adventure this parenting is!

Before I had Olive I used to imagine what being a mom would feel like. I used to say it will be like the love I have for my pugs. I love my pugs, don't get me wrong, but I never once thought that I would throw myself off a cliff to save them. I know now this intensely strong parental and primal love. It's stronger than anything I ever could imagine. I am so thankful that I have her in my life. I am a stronger and better person because of her.

Winter Girl

This winter is keeping us inside, but Olive is never tired of finding new stuff to get into inside. The past couple weeks she has been going through some pretty big developmental stuff, and just seems super busy. She's surprising us everyday with some new word or phrase. Its a real joy to watch what she's saying, and what is going on in that little head of hers. I can't keep up with documenting each new word, but heres a few favorite new things shes saying:

"mama- me out" (get me out of the crib)
"dada- help me"
"my dada hug"
"oh no!" "Where go?!"
- all animal NAMES. She used to just say the noises they make. Now its "Pig", "cow", "sheep" ect...
"Fall Down! Oh NO!"
- All colors except "brown". She can point and say each color that we ask her. She points out the color of everything. She loves colors...
- She can count ALMOST perfectly, to 10. It sounds more like this... "One, Two, Three, two, three, FIVE, six, eight, nine, TEN" apparently, four and seven are forgotten! haha
- She sings "Old McDonald" with me. Its adorable.

Shes really into CLEANING right now. If something is a mess, she says "oh no! clean!" She picks stuff up, sweeps, mops, and vacuums. She wants to vacuum with me multiple times a day. When shes eating, she asks for a "towel" to clean her hands.... and wipes off the table. I joke I have a little OCD toddler, but I'm not complaining. Im just waiting for her to start dusting and folding the laundry! haha

She loves watching TV and playing her IPAD, and is very good and navigating between her APPS. I think its a great learning tool, and it keeps her happy. I love it. She's really into POOH bear, Daniel Tiger, and Sophia the first.

She's not eating dairy, which has opened up her diet to all kinds of goodies she has never had before. She loves goldfish crackers and cheese! She eats pretty much everything I give her, and she eats a lot! She loves healthy foods like fruits and veggies and meats like chicken, turkey, ham, and fish. She also loves apple juice, which might just be helping us prefer the sippy cup over the bottle.

Shes growing up so fast. Im already starting to plan her 2 year birthday party. She pees or poops in the potty almost everyday (by herself), and she is down to bottles only at sleep time. (which is HUGE for her)

I look forward to spring with her. Maybe we will plant a garden. Maybe we will go to the beach. I just look forward to being able to take her to the park and let her run around outside!! It wont be much longer!!