Half Birthday

Today I sang Olive "Happy Half-Birthday to you!" I just can not believe that six months ago today I held a tiny 5 pound 12 ounce, cross-eyed, curled toed, newborn Olive. Today she is sitting, rolling, scooting, eating solids, sleeping all night, smiling, laughing, and playing.

Somewhere along the way she completely stole my heart- completely.

So much has changed these past six months. Besides her obvious changes. The first month of her life seems now like a blink of an eye. I remember eating crackers and chicken salad all day. The pump..... The frustration of the pump. The smell of laundry detergent, maple syrup (from the pills to "help with milk production" (lies). Olive smelled like pot pie. I remember looking at the clock and thinking "I can get ONE whole hour of sleep", and being excited about it. It was such a happy time, besides the failure of nursing. People would come visit, bring us food and presents, and Adam and I were together 24-7. We were calm, we were happy, and couldnt believe how "easy" she was.

Olive at month ONE

It got kinda hard there around month 3, thanks to 2 little teethers. I got anxious, and struggled with either some post-pardom depression, or side effects of getting back on the pill. I found myself being overwhelmed, stressed, and guilty for wanting and break. It was really hard. I was scared to go in public, but scared to stay home and be sad all day. It was hard, but it was temporary. The teeth broke through, I changed medication, and the clouds went away.

The past month has been what I used to fantasize being a mom would be like. We giggle, we play, we go to storytime, we have "play-dates". She's sleeping all night, smiling all most of the day, and shes so cute and chubby! I am loving being a mom. Worry has changed from "is she breathing?", to "can she choke on that?" But, I know I will always have something to worry about.